This Heart
by WalkerTRngr
Summary: "This love, this heart, these arms to hold So tight to you, I won't let go"
1. Default Chapter

Here's the latest idea that's popped into my head. I hope you like it. Special thanks to Lynne, cause we all know how bad my grammer is lol. Also the song used is Phil Collins This Heart.

  


Harm sat motionless on the couch his fingers unconsciously playing with his wedding band. The soft strands of Phill Collins played in the background. Five weeks ago, now seemed like ages ago, but it had only been five weeks since he felt like his world finally had some meaning.

This love, this heart, these arms to hold  
So tight to you, I won't let go  
Can this be real, or just some dream that feels so true  
I wish you love, I wish you more  
You are all that I live for  
I'll never hurt you believe me  
My heart beats just for you  
It only beats for you

_Five Weeks Earlier_

"Well counselor got any suggestions on how we're gonna bail our client out of this one?" Harm asked Mac smiling.

"I have no idea. This guy has to be one of the stupidest people I've ever met," Mac said. 

Their client Petty Officer Matthew Shiver had been nabbed breaking into a dry cleaners. His buddies had bet him that he couldn't spend a whole evening out on the town dressed in drag. Not only did he have to dress up, but he had to somehow get clothes that belonged to his CO's wife. The petty officer had proceeded to break into the cleaners where his CO and family brought their clothes. He hadn't counted on the silent alarm and the cops had him in custody within minutes.

So here they were defending one of the stupidest people to ever enter the navy.

A knock on Mac's door ended their discussion.

"Ma'am," Tiner said. "The Admiral would like to see you."

"Tell him I'll be right there," mac answered.

"Yes Ma'am." 

"I would have asked what you had done this time but since he didn't call us both in I guess you're off the hook," Mac teased.

Harm had a look of mock horror on his face.

"I'm deeply offended," Harm said.

"Whatever squid, don't forget dinner tonight at my place so we can work on this case. Thank God it's Friday." Mac said and then made her way to her CO's office.

That night Harm knocked on Mac's door 10 minutes early, a smile on his face. There was no answer so Harm knocked again. Still no answer so he used his key to get in.

"Mac?" He called once he was inside.

He found her in her bedroom, her suitcase open, packing.

"Mac," Harm said startling Mac jumped up startled.

"Harm you scared me." 

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm packing. Monday morning I'm being shipped out on a Webb mission."

Harm tensed and Mac noticed.

"What's wrong Harm?"

"Nothing," Harm replied, Mac wasn't buying but she decided to let it drop. 

"Where is Webb sending you this time?"

"Kuwait. It seems there have been some complaints on how we treat the prisoners we have at our bases. So since I speak Farsi and some Arabic and I am a military lawyer they want my perspective."

"Ah I see. Well anyway how about I go about fixing us some dinner?"

"I thought we'd just order a pizza," Mac said as she closed her suitcase.

"Pizza? You deserve a lot better than pizza. Come on I already brought everything over that I'd need. Now why don't you go relax and watch some TV while I cook?"

"Ok."

Tears streamed downed Harm's face as he remembered how the rest of the evening played out.

"Wow Harm I have to say for a Rabbit food eater you sure make a good steak."

"Why thank you colonel. Now how about we watch the movie I brought over?"

"A movie? Ooo which one?"

"It's a surprise."

"Surprise? You know how I hate surprises."

"Well then, we better put the movie on."

They had sat down on the couch and Harm had put in Jurassic Park.

"Harm how did you know this was one of my favorite movies? I didn't really care for the sequels but I loved the first one."

"I thought you'd like it."

Later that night

"Oh Harm you have to see, this is the best part," Mac said excitedly

"Doesn't that lawyer guy get eaten?" Harm asked.

"Yea that's why it's the best part. That guy was really annoying." Mac replied and Harm just laughed.

By the end of the movie Mac had fallen asleep her head resting on Harm's shoulder. Harm looked down at the woman next to him.

"You're so beautiful Sarah. How could I not love you," he whispered. It was that moment that Mac opened her eyes.

Normally Harm knew that if caught in a situation like this he should find a way out of it. But not this time, this time he was done running.

"What did you say?" Mac asked unsure of her own hearing.

"I said I love you. I always have," Harm said as he leaned in for a kiss. 

"Sarah lately I've been having these dreams. Each time the location changes but the story stays still the same. You're in danger and I never get there in time. I'm always too late and I never get to tell you how much you mean to me," Harm said as tears streamed his face. These dreams had been so real.

"Oh Harm. You have nothing to worry about. I'm not going anywhere."

Harm pulled her close and for the rest of the night he never let her go afraid that if he did she might disappear.

I'll keep the fire alight for you  
Can't think of nothing else, what can I do  
This lonely heart of mine, it only beats for you  
It only beats for you  
  
You bring me peace, you make me smile  
You give me strength and all the while  
You ask for nothing, only love  
And my heart beats just for you  
It only beats for you  


Harm remembered what happened the next morning. After a quick trip to his house to get clothes and special box they had gone out for breakfast.

"Hey Sarah, how about we have a picnic in the park today? It is a beautiful day," Harm said as they made their way out of the resteraunt.

Mac smiled. She loved it when he called her Sarah.

"I'd like that, just as long as we have more than rabbit food for lunch."

"Well Mac I was gonna talk about that. I can't have you teaching our kids your bad eating habits. I think we're going to have to change some of them," Harm said with a smile.

"Kids?"

"Yea, I was thinking four or five. What do you think?"

Mac had the biggest smile on her face.

"The more the merrier."

Later that day they made their way to Rock Creek Park to set up their picnic. It was a beautiful day and Harm and Mac were enjoying spending time with each other. Suddenly spending time like this took on a new meaning. No longer did looks have to be stolen in a moment when someone wasn't looking. Mac no longer had to wish that Harm would lean over and kiss her, he just did.

As they were unpacking Harm pulled out a small vase that held a single red rose. "For the lady," he said bowing.

Mac laughed.

"So what are you feeding me squid? Since you wouldn't let me see what you were buying."

"Well for myself a salad and for you a sandwich, chips and of course chocolate pudding for dessert."

"Did you say chocolate?" Mac asked with a smile on her face.

Harm was captivated by her smile. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

"Yes chocolate. I know the way to a marine's heart. It's through her stomach."

"Very funny stick-boy," Mac said.

They ate and enjoyed both each other's company and the beautiful weather After they were finished they started to clean things up. Mac accidentally knocked over the vase. When she went to go pick up the rose that had fallen out she noticed something tied to the stem. Harm watched as she picked up the rose and decided, now is as good a time as any. He planned on asking her later in the day but now seemed like the perfect time.

Harm walked up beside her and took the rose out of her hands. Getting down on one knee he pulled the ring that was on the stem of.

"Sarah, I know we only been together for a day but we known each other for so long and it seems like I've known you my whole life. I know I've loved forever and if you let me I'll never stop. Sarah will you marry me?" Mac didn't know what to say. To say this was a surprise to her was understatement.

"Yes, of course I'll marry you," Mac said as tears streamed down her face.

"Today," Harm said.

"What?"

"Sarah what do you say we get married today? Then when you get back we can plan a big wedding with all our family and friends. I feel like we've wasted so much time already I don't want to waste another day."

So Harm called up Chaplain Turner and asked him if he would marry them later that afternoon. Under normal circumstances the Chaplain would have been hesitant but he knew that with Harm nothing was ever normal and gladly agreed.

"Roberts' house," little AJ Roberts answered.

"Hey buddy its Auntie Mac."

"Aunie Mac?" the little boy squealed into the phone.

"Yea, is your mom there?"

"Uh huh hold on a second. Mommy! Aunie Mac is on the phone."

"Okay AJ I'm coming. Hello Ma'am what's up?"

"Harriet when are going to start calling me Mac?"

"Uh sorry Ma'am I mean Mac," Harriet stammered.

"Well Harriet, Harm and I were wondering what you Bud and AJ were doing this afternoon?"

"Nothing really, Bud just got back from his daily workout. I just finished shopping so we're done for the day what did you need. Wait you did say you and Harm?" Harriet said as a smile graced her face. Hey she could wish couldn't she?

"Well.... Okay Harm and I are getting married this afternoon and we wanted to know if you guys would be our witnesses?"

Harriet screamed into the phone.

"Oh My God! This is great I can't believe. Ma'am I am so happy for you both." When Mac didn't answer she corrected herself with, "I mean Mac wow this is awesome of course we'll be there."

"Great Harriet we really wanted you guys to be there."

"There is no way we would miss this. Don't worry we will definitely be there."

Mac gave Harriet the specifics of the time and where it would be.

_Later that afternoon_

"I now pronounce you husband and wife you may kiss the bride."

And that's exactly what Harm did.

"Mommy why is Unca Harm kissing Aunie Mac? That's gross," AJ whispered to his mom. Harriet just laughed. 

Just let this heart of mine show you  
It only beats for you  
  
Yes it only beats for you  
It only beats for you  
This love, this heart  
These arms, they're only for you  
This love, this heart  
These arms, they're only for you  
They're only for you  


Harm remembered everything about that day and they day that followed they were the two best days of his life. Now he was sitting in his living room unsure of what his future held. Today Webb had called and told him the worst news he had ever heard. Mac was missing. 

Good, bad? Reviews would be nice ^_^. Should I continue?


	2. Chapter Two

This story is dedicated to all the courageous men and women fighting over in the Middle East. May God be with them all.

The song used in this story is "Recover Your Soul," by Elton John.

  
  


It had been two weeks since Mac had gone missing. The Admiral had given Harm some leave so he had gone up to visit his grandmother. He didn't know what to do. All he was told by Webb was the convoy she was traveling with had been ambushed and after that nothing. They assumed that she was a POW but had no proof so for the moment she was MIA.

Harm remembered the night Mac had called him saying that she was coming home.

"Hey Harm how are things back home?"

"Ah you know pretty good. I miss you."

"I miss you too sweetheart but I have some good news," Mac said excitedly.

"What has you so excited?" Harm asked his curiosity piqued.

"I'm coming home."

"Really I thought you weren't coming home for another two weeks?" Harm said.

"I know but today I found out some interesting information that I hope you'll like,"Mac said. 

"Why wouldn't I like it?"

"I don't know," Mac said a note of worry in her voice.

Harm noticed.

"What's wrong Sarah?"

"Well nothing's wrong technically," Mac was hesitant to tell Harm the news.

"Just tell me what ever it is we can work through it together."

"You bet we are. There is no way I'm doing this alone," Mac said laughter in her voice.

"You're killing me here Mac what is it?" Harm asked with voice of an impatient four year old.

"I'm pregnant."

There Mac had said it. She felt relieved but grew more nervous as the seconds passed with no response from her husband.

"Harm?" 

"Did you say what I think you just said?" Harm asked in disbelief.

"Yes but I can tell your not happy," Mac said as tears started to form in her eyes.

"Are you kidding? I've never been happier!" Harm said excitedly. "This is the best news I've ever heard!"

Mac was relieved. She knew they both wanted children, but they had never talked about how soon they wanted to have them.

"So this means you're coming home?" Harm asked.

"Yea. I'm leaving sometime tomorrow afternoon. Since this a war zone all pregnant women are being shipped out," Mac informed him.

"Well I'm glad. I can't wait. Just let me know when you are getting in so I can pick you up."

"Will do. Love you," Mac said.

"I love you too my beautiful jarhead. Sleep well."

"You too squid."

  


Now Harm was sitting on his grandmother's front porch lost in thought. If they didn't find her he didn't know what he would do.

  


Sarah Rabb watched her grandson, feeling his pain. She remembered when her husband was shot down. The terrible days of waiting to hear something when nothing ever came. When he was officially declared deceased she remembered how her heart sank. She remembered the years that went by without any word about her son. Too many Rabb's had suffered over the years and it pained her to see her grandson suffering so. She wished she could help alleviate his pain but she knew there was nothing she could but be there for him when he needed her.

  


You're missing something in the air 

I got a name but it don't matter 

What's going on? 

It's cold in here 

You have a life but it's torn and tattered

Maybe you're losing pieces of your heart 

You have a world but it stopped turning 

You loose the day and gain the dark

  


Sarah went and sat down next to her grandson. She didn't know what to say. So she just sat and waited for him to speak. Even if he didn't that would be fine, at least he would know she was there for him.

"Gram what am I going to do without her?" Harm whispered.

Sarah Rabb witnessed something she had rarely ever seen. Her grandson starting crying and not just small silent tears but heart wrenching sobs.

"Now Harmon you're not giving up already are you? You didn't give up on your father did you? One of the things Sarah loves about you is your devotion to those you love. She's counting on you not to give up on her."

  


They see your sunset sinking like a tear 

Along the night in a losing battle 

That perfect world ain't never clear 

You have to fight for the things that matter

  


Harm listened to what his grandmother was saying and knew she was right. He had be strong for Mac. Ffor Mac and for their unborn child. She would never give up on him, he wasn't giving up on her.

"You're right Grams. If she were here she'd yell at me saying she's a marine who can handle herself and I was foolish for worrying," Harm said smiling.

  


So spare you heart, save your soul 

Don't drag your love across the coals 

Find you feet and your fortune can be told 

Release, relax, let go And hey now let's recover your soul 

Let's recover your soul 

The next chapter will tell what's happening to Mac the whole time she is gone. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for all the great reviews! ^_^ and of course more reviews would be nice too lol!


	3. Chapter Three

Thanks for all the reviews! The song used in this story is "Save Me," by Remy Zero. Special thanks to Lynne for all her help ^_^.

Mac woke up freezing and had a splitting headache. She surmised from the temperature that it must be night since there were no windows in the cramped room. She looked at the women sitting next to her, Lieutenant Andie Marks. She could tell that the Lieutenant was sleeping and was glad. They hadn't gotten much sleep in past couple of weeks. Mac remembered what it was like when their convoy had been ambushed. She had been riding in one of the humvees next to Lieutenant Marks when they had heard the first shots of machine gun fire.

"So Lieutenant when did you find out you were expecting." Like Mac Andie had just found out she was expecting and was being sent home.

"Two days ago. I was am so excited. My husband and I have only been married a month and a half but we both want children very badly. We've talked about having them as soon as possible. We both came from large families. I have four brothers and sisters and Jay, my husband has five."

"How did the expectant father take the news?" Mac asked.

"Well I don't know. He's out with a combat squadron and they are trying to locate him but haven't had any luck yet. But I know as soon as they do they will let me know," Andie said. "What about your husband how did he take the news?"

"Well at first I wasn't sure he wasn't saying anything. It's unusual for my always blabbering squid of a husband not to say anything so I got worried," Mac said laughing.

"You're married to a Squid ma'am?" the lieutenant asked smiling.

"I know, I know disgrace to the corps but what could I do?"

"It's okay ma'am I married one too."

The women spent the rest of the trip chatting enjoying each other's company. That was until they were attacked. The convoy they were riding with was traveling back through the Iraqi desert t to Kuwait where it was going to re-pack with supplies and then head back into Iraq.

It turned out that a group of supposed civilians had approached the head of the convoy asking for help for an injured child. Despite warnings of soldiers dressing as civilians, the convoy believed they were in a safe area and stopped to help. It was too late before they realized it was a trap. And Now, two weeks later, here they were in this prison of sorts, where they had been for the past two weeks. Mac knew that if they didn't get help soon they chances of staying alive were slim. Everyone who had been taken had been beaten in one way or another including herself. She thanked God that no sexual abuse had befallen her or the lieutenant as of yet, but she wouldn't put it past her captors. Mac just prayed that helped arrived soon. As sleep claimed her once again she dreamt of her sailor and prayed that he was doing okay.

  
I feel my wings have broken in your hands 

I feel the words unspoken inside 

when they pull you under 

and I would give you any thing you want 

you were all I wanted all my dreams are fallin' down 

crawlin round and round and round 

Harm awoke with a start. He had a dream that Mac had been calling out to him but but he couldn't find her in time. When he had finally reached her it was too late. He looked at his alarm clock. It was already 0615. He knew he wasn't going to get anymore sleep so he decided to get up and head into work.

On the drive in the memories of his dream kept playing over and over again in his head.

_"__Harm! Harm! Where are you?" Mac had called._

_"__I'm here Mac. I'm coming," Harm had called._

_"__Please hurry Harm, not much time left."_

Mac was suffering and he couldn't help her. That's what hurt most of all. She was looking to be saved and he couldn't do anything.

Somebody save me!  
Let your warm hands break right through  
Somebody save me!  
I don't care how you do it  
Just stay!  
Stay, c'mon, I've been waiting for you

Mac cried out has a as another blow was dealt to her face. This was her daily beating. Like clock work, everyday at 1200 hours her captors beat her and her fellow marines. She knew she was lucky. There were some privates and a gunnery sergeant in the cell next to her that she knew were in worse shape than she was. She could hear what they did to them. She had tried to speak to her captors in their native tongue and although she knew they understood what she was saying they never answered. As her captors left her cell she prayed for herself, her husband and her fellow captives. She wondered why after so many years of false starts and dancing they finally gotten together only to be ripped apart. She was supposed to be going home and leaving for her honeymoon. But now, everyday was a question as to whether she'd see the next. 

"Please Harm save me," she whispered.

And all my dreams are on the ground  
Crawlin' around, and around...  
Somebody save me!  
Let your warm hands break right through me  
Somebody save me!  
I don't care how you do it  
Just stay... with me...  
I made this whole world shine for you  
Just stay!  
Just stay, c'mon... I'm still waiting for you 


	4. Chpater Four

The song used here is Fleetwood Mac, "Everywhere." I hope you guys like it and special thanks to Lynne ^_^.

  


Harm was sitting in his office trying to concentrate on his latest case. A petty officer that had been caught with an ounce of cocaine. He was having a hard time trying to concentrate on anything lately. Mac was still missing. All Webb kept saying was be hopeful because no news was good news. He tried to believe it but it was hard. After each day that passed it made it more and more unlikely she would come home. But like his grandmother had told him he had to be strong, he couldn't give up on her. The worst were the nights. At least at the office he was around other people and there were ways he could distract himself. At home he was met by a lonely apartment and silence. He was constantly having this nightmare that Webb had told him they had found where she had been taken Harm had insisted he be on the recovery team. As they went into the building he kept calling her name but she never answered. He looked everywhere but found nothing. That's when Webb said it was over she wasn't there they had to go. Harm could still feel her presence but no matter how loud he called her name and how long he searched he never found her.

  


Can you hear me calling  
Out your name  
You know that I'm falling  
And I don't know what to say 

I'll speak a little louder  
I'll even shout

Can you hear me calling  
Out your name  


So now he was trying his best to distract himself or at least get some work done. He knew that Mac would scold him for worrying so much and not getting any work done. So he was just about finished writing his closing remarks when he heard a scream. He looked out his office window and saw Harriet fall to the floor. Harm quickly ran out of his office to see if she was okay.

"Harriet what's wrong?" Bud asked as he helped his wife stand.

Tears ran down Harriet face as she pointed to the TV monitors. There on ZNN was a report on some POWs that had been taken. Their captors had taken video footage of them and had showed it on Iraqi Television.

Bud gasped as he saw what his wife was looking at.

"Harriet, are you okay?" Harm asked once he reached her side. He saw that she was crying and looked up when she pointed to the TV screens. Harm's faced turned white. There was his Mac in front of the camera bruised and bleeding. She was almost unrecognizable.

The Admiral who had heard Harriet's screams came out to see what's going on.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" he barked.

No one said a word Bud just pointed towards the TV.

The Admiral looked at what Bud was pointing at and his face fell.

At that moment Harm's fist connect with part of the wall leaving a small dent. The Admiral could see the fury in Harm's eyes.

"Rabb my office now," the Admiral knew what Harm would most likely want to do but Harm needed to be level headed.

"Harm I know you're upset but you have to be level headed. I'm pretty sure I know what you'd like to do to a certain spook right about now, trust me I'd love to the same thing but that won't solve anything." 

"With all do respect sir you have no idea how I'm feeling and anything Webb gets he surely deserves," Harm looking straight ahead never wavering.

"Harm I can't stop you even if I tried so I'm only going to say be careful, dismissed."

Harm grabbed his keys and his cover and raced down to his car. He had a visit to pay to a dear Clayton Webb. Harm did realize that the Admiral was right. He had to stay focused for Mac. He had to keep it together so they could find her and bring her home.

  


Something's happening,  
Happening to me  
My friends say I'm acting peculiarly

Can you hear me calling  
Out your name  
You know that I'm falling  
And I don't know what to say 

Can you hear me calling  
Out your name  


Harm reached Langley in record time. He was slightly surprised he hadn't been pulled over for speeding. Harm made his way through the security checkpoints and had finally reached Webb's office when his secretary tried to stop him. Harm just brushed her aside as he stormed into Webb's office.

Webb, who was sitting at his desk looking over a file, wasn't too surprised to see Harm glaring down at him. He knew that Rabb would be in his office sooner or later. He just preferred later.

"Look Rabb we know about the tape. Our intel has been processing it for a couple of days and we think we might have narrowed down their location."

"A couple days? You mean you've known about this and you didn't tell me?" At that moment all the restraint Harm possessed suddenly vanished. He ran behind Webb's desk and yanked him out of the chair.

"Listen Clay, because of you Mac's out there with a face beaten so badly it's almost unrecognizable. Because your people are always too good to waist on a mission, and you had to take her, she's now fighting for her life. So for those reasons I'm going over there. NO you're sending me over there with your guys. And I'm gonna be there when they find her. Because if I lose her and the baby then I've lost everything and there is no point in living and I will make sure you know just how distraught I'm feeling. Got it?"

Webb had seen Harm angry before but never like this. Harm wasn't just angry he was a man at the end of his rope. Webb truly believed Rabb when he said he would have nothing left to live for if he lost them.

"I'm sending some guys over there tonight. They'll be traveling with a seal team. They leave at 1900 from Andrews. Make sure you're there, and I'll make sure you go." 

  


So next chapter will be the search for Mac. Good bad? Tell me what you guys think.

  



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